Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
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