i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
Randomize
