you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
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