I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
