i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
