Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize