He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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