Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Randomize
