She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
I wish there were birth control emojis
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
