Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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