so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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