i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
