AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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