She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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