I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
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