Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
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