quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
