He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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