okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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