i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
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