we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
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