Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
