so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
i just sent this text using only my big toe
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
I just googled if crying burns calories
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
Randomize
