Rock
Scissors
Fuck
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
