My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
I would fuck him just for his dog
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
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