Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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