you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
Terrible idea I love it
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
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