pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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