North Korea, Best Korea!
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Randomize
