So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
