Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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