The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
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Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
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Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
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