summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Randomize
