Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
Then you guys just all showered together...?
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
