I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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