You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
