Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
I feel great
I just peed on a car
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
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Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
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The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
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