I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Randomize
