Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
I supernannyed him into submission
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
