dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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