Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Randomize
