Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
I can't turn off my feet"
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
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