What did we do last night that was yellow?
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize
