Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
