My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
