Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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