Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Screwed.edu
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Randomize
