I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
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