Texts From Last Night

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  (818): View more from California

  people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.

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  (818): people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight. http://tfl.nu/8h1f
  Replies (7) Good night (2930) Bad night (448) Order T-Shirt
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.

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  (404): Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again. http://tfl.nu/0won
  Replies (20) Good night (2573) Bad night (1025) Order T-Shirt
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  (662): View more from Mississippi

  An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.

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  (662): An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows. http://tfl.nu/wtg2
  Replies (19) Good night (1051) Bad night (3200) Order T-Shirt
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  (651): View more from Minnesota

  I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me

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  (651): I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me http://tfl.nu/s22y
  Replies (13) Good night (4357) Bad night (1324) Order T-Shirt
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  (904): View more from Florida

  I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion

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  (904): I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion http://tfl.nu/iqkp
  Replies (3) Good night (842) Bad night (3066) Order T-Shirt
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  (803): View more from South Carolina

  If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now

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  (803): If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now http://tfl.nu/b5gc
  Replies (9) Good night (1803) Bad night (3384) Order T-Shirt
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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...

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  (908): Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again... http://tfl.nu/evlz
  Replies (8) Good night (1276) Bad night (657) Order T-Shirt
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...

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  (404): He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight... http://tfl.nu/5hx6
  Replies (33) Good night (1167) Bad night (4976) Order T-Shirt
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  (843): View more from South Carolina

  I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that

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  (843): I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that http://tfl.nu/xola
  Replies (7) Good night (2471) Bad night (509) Order T-Shirt
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  (805): View more from California

  Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?

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  (805): Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin? http://tfl.nu/mg03
  Replies (7) Good night (498) Bad night (1087) Order T-Shirt
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  (817): View more from Texas

  I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.

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  (817): I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore. http://tfl.nu/onr6
  Replies (6) Good night (1222) Bad night (361) Order T-Shirt
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  I wish I could just hang out in ERs.

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  (503): I wish I could just hang out in ERs. http://tfl.nu/ev60
  Replies (9) Good night (423) Bad night (798) Order T-Shirt
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.

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  (732): My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally. http://tfl.nu/1mf9
  Replies (3) Good night (904) Bad night (424) Order T-Shirt
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  (901): View more from Tennessee

  You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!

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  (901): You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?! http://tfl.nu/9kiq
  Replies (5) Good night (992) Bad night (235)
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  (443): View more from Maryland

  You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.

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  (443): You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere. http://tfl.nu/84cy
  Replies (7) Good night (1315) Bad night (199) Order T-Shirt

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