i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Randomize
