It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
