Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
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No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
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my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
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