Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
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