its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
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