oh god the rape fog is back!
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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