We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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