thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
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