Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Randomize
