don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Randomize
