Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Randomize
