i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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