I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize